الحمد الله والصلاة والسلام على رسول الله ﷺ و بعد
السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته
There was a time when marriage was as easy as finding an iron ring for a man who didnt find anything else to give to a woman he intended to marry almost 1438 Hijri years ago. Therefore he got married on the basis of how much Quraan he had memorized. But Muslims today have to face the deadly walls of Jaahiliyyah i.e.Ignorance of past in the name of culture norms like high Mahr, heavy loans of lavish weddings halls on bride as well as groom, unnecessarily beautified car, mega house for newlywed whilst their relitives 5 member families might not have 1 bedroom apartment to live, innovated traditions taken from Hindus or Christians (Rasumaat like Mehendi etc) whilst abandoning waajib Sunan not to mention the deceptive and extravagant function, music, dance, fireworks and other muharramaat i.e. prohibitions in name of celebration sometimes causing fire in the wedding and unwanted distance to old and sick in the neighbourhood (those living in Indo-Pak) know what i'm referring to), demands of dowry from boys family called Jahaiz (Indo-Pak Hindu inspired nonsense) and though there is great awareness about these things around the world now but very feww Muslims care to learn facts and serious changes in action about how marriages are to be conducted from A-Z according to Sunnah of our beloved final Messenger of Allaah Muhammad Sallallaahu 'Alaihi Wa aalihi Wasallam (please say this when ever you read or hear his name in your life as it's an obligation unless you want to be of the cursed).
What many people fail to realize is that the general guidelines on method of marriage is already legislated and not open to personal judgements just like trade or any other process humans go through in their daily lives. Here is a reality check. Majority of the Muslims population active today on Youtube, FB, Twitter etc are our Muslim youth along with young adults and as per google statistics the channels opened by KSA local girls are the highest viewed channels on Youtube platform from the beginning of the platform and whats intriguing about this phenomenon is that most of these youth are single and you dont have to be a genius to know how self obsessed, self contradictory and fame hungry they are whilst failing to realize it's their golden age to seek ilm and shaitaan is getting the best slive of their lives in laghw. The misuse of Youtube in Pakistan as well as other Muslim countries is not hidden from anyone. So in midst of all this fitnah of strange Muslim men and women mixing together in name of freedom of expression and modernanity is just a clear cut trap of Shaitaan which many Muslims masses have fallen into.
Why does this happen? The root cause is a wrong mindset and upbringing on deluded or false principles as well as these youths carelessness and irresponsibility in regards to the understanding and practice of their religion. As Muslims we all claim or atleast pretend that we love Allaah Sub'haanahu Wata'ala the most, then His Final Messenger Muhammad Sallallaahu 'Alaihi Wasallam but the question is do we really live a life which even in the slightest sense resembles that of the companions, let alone that of the final Messenger Sallallaahu 'Alaihi Wasallam.
I find it quite surprising that vast majority of Muslims today live off their lives assuming that every good deed or act of worship they are doing is being accepted by Allaah. They fail to realize that Allaah does not accept any action until it fulfills 2 conditions, 1st doing it sincerely for sake of Allaah and 2nd doing it exactly as was done by Muhammad Sallallaahu 'Alaihi Wasallam. The 3rd important thing to remember is that we practice Quraan and authenticated Sunnah as per the understanding of the pious predecessors and not bringing our own twisted/biased mind into the equation. It means however big of a degree of the world (Dunya) we hold in our hands but until we have spent decades studying Islaam under a true senior Scholar having authentic chain of narration, we shouldnt dare to delve into matters we are not worthy of just like i'm a Computer Engineer and i dont go to a doctor and start telling him how to do my diagnosis for any illness. However as a small student of knowledge I can share what I have learned from the scholars of al Islaam as far as reference everything from the source.
Undoubtedly choosing a pious spouse is one of the most important decision that comes in a persons life at certain point of time and whether we seek divine guidance in this matter or not is a critical research on his or her religious credibility. Accountability of one's deen (religious commitment) and Ikhlaaq (mannerisms) by one's ownself is not only a must but this is something the Messenger of Allaah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam used to do himself and advise the Sahaabah (May Allaah be pleased with them all) to take special care of.
Marriage is a Sunnah, a form of 'Ibaadah which all the Noble Prophets and Messengers practice, in which one forms relation with another human purely to please Allaah and this is one of the crucial times we are given a choice in a relation while some are default (like blood relations) and we have to fullfill the bonds of kinship with them whether we like it or not. Along the many benefits that come by this noble act is the enjoyment and fullfillment of the natural desire in a halaal manner or supporting each other in other forms of worship in the ups and downs of this temporary life.
Another important problem to point out is that individuals come into marriage with unrealistic expectation and many at times they are not ready for marriage in practical sense (bills for husband's and kids for wife's). An individual should approach marriage with realistic expectations while being sincere with Allaah first and foremost. One who fullfills the rights of His Supreme Creator in the truest of sense can only sustain to fullfill the rights of His creation. The creed or belief of a person will decide whether he will end up deservingly in Jannah or Jahannum and even if a person has great ikhlaaq and prays 5 times but he has corruption (Shirk) in his belief then he will never be successful in both the worlds. So Muslim men should fear Allaah and not offer to teach a woman Quran as Mahr when infact he can afford to gift her with a Gold set or anything halaal which would please her. Similarly Muslim women specially reverts should not network with men on FB claiming they dont have a wali and the Imaams of the Masaajid are not helpful enough. Patience and Gratitude are obligatory characteristics of a believer in times of hardship and case respectively. You can ask you Wali to contact our Salafi Marriage Foundation and take help in finding a pious spouse for you if he is really busy and our sisters can stay in touch with our (Salafi Marriage Foundation) female Admin to assist in follow-up in a halaal manner.
So having sound Aqeedah and Manhaj (methodology) which mainly constitutes Tawheed, guarding the 5 Pillars of Islaam (specially Salaah with Khushoo') and truely believing in the 6 articles of faith and acting in accordance with it), guarding the tongue from laghw(vain talk), paying due zakaat, guarding private parts except from wives etc (taken from Surah Al-Mu'minoon 1st few ayaahs and Sahih AlBukhari Hadith of Umar bin al Khattaab May Allaah be pleased with him on Islaam, Imaan and Ihsaan etc) and rights of His creation like taking extremely good care of parents, close relatives (enjoining bonds of blood), being goood with one's neighbours Muslim or NonMuslim and enjoining good and forbidding evil etc all of these are qualities of a successful believer; most suitable candidate to deserving of eternal bliss and happiness (Jannah).
Once we understand this solution to marital bliss we also need to understand the fact that not all of us are Mujjaddideen (Expert Scholars/Revivers of Islaam) and have the ability to read Quran, Ahaadith and Athaar in Arabic and derive benefits directly from these great divine sources and this is when we need to contact the inheritors of the Prophets i.e. Scholars as Allaah says in the Quraan in Surah An-Nahl Verse 43 '...Ask the people of knowledge if you dont know'. All Muslim brothers and sisters should contact their local Masjid Imaams or community leaders who are of sound Aqeedah and Manhaj as-well-as well-known for their trustworthyness and great character to help you find a pious practicing Muslim spouse in a halaal way and be patient with them as they are truly busy in community service and more importantly their individual obligations. Traditionally word to mouth used to be the way to go however since we researched and realized a great gap in number of sound people working in field of authentic NonProfit and transparent global marriage support system in the midst of a sea of commercial marriage matrimony websites (or fake money looting services except few by mercy of Allaah) so you are welcome to contact our foundation to seek help in finding a pious spouse and we will try our best to help you by whatever halaal means Allaah enables us with and in return we dont want anything, just make dua that Allaah blesses us with a place in Jannatul Firdaus.
Please locate, download the marriage form and follow all instructions within.
Any suggestions for improvement or for supporting our cause be donations or joining us (volunteering), you are most welcome!
Your Brother in Islaam,
سبحانك اللهم وبحمدك أشهد أن لا إله إلا أنت أستغفرك وأتوب إليك
بِسْــــــــــــــــــمِ ﷲِالرَّحْمَنِ الرَّحِيم
الحمد الله والصلاة والسلام على رسول الله ﷺ و بعد
السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته